At Connections Count, we believe effective therapy comes from integrating emotionally‑focused, relational approaches with evidence‑based techniques. If you’ve ever wondered what EMDR is—or whether it might be right for you—here’s a clear and compassionate guide to help you decide.
What is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It’s a structured, evidence-based psychotherapy developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, originally for treating PTSD.
But more than a protocol, EMDR is based on the understanding that our brains are wired to heal. Just like our minds process material during REM sleep, EMDR helps complete the emotional processing that was interrupted during overwhelming moments. When stress is too much to manage at the time, memories can get “stuck” in the nervous system—along with the emotions, beliefs and body sensations that came with them.
EMDR can help these experiences move through, instead of staying on repeat. It does this by gently activating memory networks while engaging the brain with bilateral stimulation—like guided eye movements, alternate tapping or alternating sounds—allowing the distress to soften so the memory can be re-stored in a less charged way.
How Does It Work?
EMDR isn’t just a one-size-fits-all tool—it’s an 8-phase approach that honours your story, your nervous system, and your pace. The EMDR process includes the following:
Research shows that outcomes are often equivalent to trauma‑focused CBT—and can emerge more quickly, with fewer sessions.
Phase 1–2: Preparation & Stabilisation
We begin by creating a foundation of emotional safety. You’ll learn tools like breathwork, grounding, and self-soothing, and build insight into how your current symptoms are connected to past experiences.
Phases 3–5: Assessment, Desensitisation & Bilateral Stimulation
Together, we identify a distressing memory linked to what you’re struggling with today. You’ll explore the image, beliefs (“I’m powerless”), emotions, and body sensations attached to it.
Bilateral stimulation (BLS)—such as eye movements or tapping—is used to gently reduce the emotional charge, making space for new, more adaptive beliefs (e.g., “I did my best” or “I’m safe now”).
Phases 6–8: Installation, Body Scan, & Integration
As the memory shifts, we strengthen helpful beliefs and check how your body is holding the change. The goal isn’t to erase the past—it’s to help you remember it without reliving it. You might find yourself thinking:
“It happened, but it’s not happening now.”
What Can EMDR Help With?
While EMDR is most widely used for PTSD and trauma, many therapists and clients report relief across a broader range of concerns:
Anxiety, panic and phobic responses
Low self‑esteem, shame, or imposter syndrome
Performance anxiety (even stage fright— as recently shared by singer Miley Cyrus who engaged in EMDR for this reason)
Grief, loss, or relational wounds
Emotional triggers tied to identity, worth, or belonging
Sometimes it’s not one traumatic event, but the build-up of many small, dismissive, or hurtful moments that keep us stuck. EMDR can help unstick what’s lodged in the nervous system—often without needing to go into every detail out loud.
Why You Might Care
If talk therapy alone hasn’t shifted things, EMDR offers a more embodied path to healing.
If you’re hesitant about revisiting painful memories, EMDR is paced to your tolerance, and often requires less verbal detail.
If you’re curious but sceptical, know that EMDR is backed by clinical research, meta-analyses, and a growing base of neuroscience—though like many good therapies, the specifics of “why it works” are still being studied.
Is EMDR Right for Me?
EMDR is most effective when delivered by a therapist who:
Is fully trained in EMDR
Works within a safe, relational therapeutic alliance
Integrates EMDR with emotional awareness, stabilization skills, step‑by‑step pacing and other evidence-based approaches
It’s not for everyone, and it shouldn’t be used without clinical support. But for many—especially those whose distress feels stuck, repetitive, or physiologically activated—EMDR may support healing to emerge when the memory is held, paired with bilateral stimulation, rather than bypassed or intellectualised.
Meet Kerrin — EMDR Psychologist at Connections Count
Kerrin van der Kruk is one of our experienced psychologists trained in EMDR. She supports adults (individuals and couples) to move forward with clarity, confidence, and emotional connection.
Whether you’re dealing with trauma, ingrained anxiety, or performance and relational blocks, Kerrin combines EMDR with a gentle, collaborative style rooted in Emotionally Focused Therapy and attachment-based approaches.
✨ If you feel like something is stopping you—not your memory, but the charge it still holds—Kerrin could help you explore whether EMDR is the next step in your healing journey.
Ready to explore? Book a session with Kerrin today. Or, reach out to our admin team for a chat about whether EMDR might be a fit for you. You’re not alone—and healing is possible.
