Hi Katie,
I’m a few years into private practice and I’ve recently noticed I feel a bit dulled in session. I still care about my clients, but I find myself going into autopilot more often than I’d like. I’m not sure if this is just winter sluggishness or burn-out. How can I tell the difference — and what can I do about it?
-Foggy in Footscray
Dear Foggy,
First of all, thank you for your courage in naming something so many therapists experience but often find hard to admit: when the clinical spark feels dimmed.
You’re not alone. Whether it’s the seasonal slow-down of winter or a more persistent sense of fatigue, noticing this is a vital first step – not just for your own wellbeing, but for your clients’ too.
As always, I’d invite you to start with loving curiosity, not criticism:
1. Check the Weather — Internal and External
Ask yourself:
- What’s happening in my body lately – am I rested, nourished, moving?
- What’s happening in my world – am I carrying grief, stress, or fatigue from outside the therapy room? Or vicarious trauma from supporting clients through difficult circumstances?
- What happens to my energy before, during, and after sessions? Do I feel drawn in or drawn out?
These check-ins help you tease apart temporary seasonal depletion from something more structural or systemic, like burn-out.
2. Process over Performance
Autopilot often arises when we lose connection with the process of therapy and shift into a sense of performance: “Am I doing it right?”
Try orienting back to the moment-by-moment present experience between you and your client. Ask yourself:
- What’s happening between us right now?
- What am I sensing in their affect, in my body, in our pacing?
- What’s the felt sense of this moment — and what does it need?
This kind of attention to the present process brings vitality back into the room — for both of you. It’s ok to pause and ask your client, too – this fosters collaboration and builds their agency!
3. Explore Your Own Attachment in the Work
As attachment-based therapists, we know that disconnection often signals a deeper story.
You might reflect:
- What do I expect from myself as a therapist?
- What was modeled for me about how much I’m “supposed” to give?
- How do I feel about needing space, stimulation, or support in my work?
- What do I need right now?
A common pattern among therapists is to over-function until we quietly burn out. Engaging self-compassion and self-reflection – as well as letting these motivate us to seek support – is part of staying regulated; and real.
4. Move Toward, Not Away
You don’t have to blow everything up. Sometimes a walk-and-talk consult with a trusted colleague, a fresh training experience (like my EFIT supervision group – shameless plug :D), or revisiting old session tapes with newly compassionate eyes can reawaken compassionate curiosity.
And if the fog lingers? It’s OK to reach out for supervision, consultation, or even therapy of your own. Your needs matter.
This season will shift, Foggy – one way or another – and naming the fog is often the beginning of finding your feet & letting the sunshine in again. Bring on the spring!
Gentle reader, please remember: if you have a question for me I’d LOVE to answer it in a future ‘Ask Katie K’ – you can reply to this email to share it with me directly, or send it anonymously HERE.
